Gracie's Papa D

What a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday we had. We spent four days in Clovis with all of Larry's family. It was so wonderful to get together and enjoy one another's company. Angel spent the entire weekend with Daniel at Tia Diane & Uncle Joe's house. I think my son would leave me in a heartbeat to stay with them for a few months. He's assured me that he would never want to leave us, but I dunno 'bout that one. He loves his cousin Daniel and both boys *cry* when they have to leave eachother. Alliah loves to hang out with cousins Alexis, Santana and Amy. Uncle Tommy and Lori are gracious enough to add one more girl to their clan and they take Alliah in. Little Miss Gracie is stuck with mommy and daddy ~ although Grandma Silvia tries to keep her most of the day. The funniest part of this trip to Fresno was Grace. As we were packing the car, getting ready to leave, we made the mistake of telling Grace we were going to visit Papa. Papa D (David) is Gracie's most favorite person *next to mommy* :) She cried the en-tire way there. She did laugh at Angel and Alliah a few times as they tried to amuse her anyway they could. Yes, she'd laugh or get distracted for a few minutes then she went right back to crying, "Paaaa-paaa!" She did this all the way to Los Banos. We stopped and got some ice cream there so she took a break from the constant whining. But once we got back in the car, the crying continued all the way to Madera - when she finally fell asleep. She tired herself OUT! We stay at David & Silvia's trailerhome while in Clovis. They live with Tia Sandy & Uncle Laz most of the time so their trailer is always available when we visit. We arrived at Papa's trailer about 11:30pm and Grandma Silvia tried to wake Grace up. She kissed Gracie all over, raised her arms in the air, took off her shoes, turned on lights, but Grace was not about to wake up anytime soon. Finally, at about 12:30AM we went to bed. At 8am the next morning,guess the first thing out of Gracie's mouth? "Papa!" Thankfully, Papa and Grandma came over early to see the kids and Grace jumped with excitement and ran into Papa D's arms. Each day there, she was inseparable from David. She would wrap her arms around his legs - he could barely walk! Then she'd move over to Grandma Silvia's arms and just nestle her little head on Grandma's shoulder. After we returned home Grace began to really miss Papa D. Even in her sleep she'd cry and yell "Papa!" I had to wake her up one night because she was so upset. We called David the next day to tell him and he couldn't believe it. He sounded so happy that she loves him so much - and THAT she does! Grace spent the first 11 months of her life falling asleep in his arms so she's got his name written all over her heart! :) Another thing to be thankful for this season....Grandparents and family who love us so much and whom we love even more!

My Blessed Life

There's a story in the bible about a woman named Hannah who wanted a child more than anything in the world. For years Hannah prayed and asked the Lord to grant her her hearts desire and, finally, in His perfect time, the Lord answered her prayer. While she waited, I'm sure Hannah tried her best to live happily with the husband she had and to live content with the life she was living. But there still remained a longing in Hannah's heart to nuture, to mold, to teach, to hold, to love a child. Like many women, as a young girl, Hannah must have dreamed about the child she would someday hold in her arms. I can imagine her closing her eyes wondering what it would be like to hear her baby's laughter as she kissed his cheek, to smell the fragrance of her newborn's skin, to feel her babe burrowing into her chest, feeling a tiny hand grab tightly onto her finger. To hear the words "Mama" sing across beautiful, little baby lips and the cry that could only be comforted by her would be her dream come true. As she walked through the market, she would watch the little ones dancing through the street, excited for the yummy treats their mommies were getting for them to eat. While going to fetch water from the well, she'd be the first one to offer help to a struggling mommy. She'd jumped at any chance she could get to hold any little one in her arms. Everywhere she went, it was the children Hannah noticed most. With each passing year, the yearning inside Hannah's heart grew stronger and stronger. While she tried her best to be happy, some days would be too much to handle. Tears would flow from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to keep them back. Her husband would ask, "Aren't I enough, Hannah?" She wanted to scream YES! but inside she would say "I wish you were." She loved her husband and she loved the Lord, and I'm sure she did her very best to be thankful. But deep inside, she was empty, undone, unfullfilled.

I was like Hannah. For years I wanted to have a child of my own. I gave every ounce of energy I had to my neices and nephews, my friends' kids, even the kids in my neighborhood. But my heart would break into pieces when one would fall or hurt himself, or get scared, and only his mommy could quiet the tears. I wanted to have a child that only I could comfort. I wanted to be the one a child would run to when he was scared. I had so much love to give and I was more than ready to do the work. Finally, after 12 years of trying, crying, waiting, frustration, anger...the Lord answered my prayers. Angel. Alliah. Grace. These three have created My Blessed Life. The love that has been created within mine and Larry's hearts is undescribable. These three kids have filled out mouths with laughter and have put unwritten melodies in our hearts. There's nothing sweeter than hearing "Maaaawwwwwmmmmm" being screamed down the stairs. There's nothing greater than seeing a proud smile on a face that just brought home an A+ on a test. There's nothing more precious than looking in on my sweet babies as they sleep, all tucked-in in their beds. I have waited for this all my life.

This Thanksgiving Season I have chosen to slow down, take a break-and a breather-from all the hustle and bustle the Season brings to thank God for listening. My children are what I am most thankful for. I am so thankful to God for holding onto me when I was questioning Him and blaming Him while we waited. He was full of undertanding when I was so angry with Him. He knew all along that there were three shining stars out there that He had created just for me. He knew my babies while in their mother's wombs (their birthmother's wombs) and He was with them when they took their first breaths. His angel's danced over them with singing the day they were born. He cared for them and watched over them until they found their way to my heart. Now, He has entrusted their little lives to us. I pray that God will continue to equip me and Larry to raise up children who will love God with all their hearts, love people and be filled with compassion for the world around them. As in the words of Hannah, "For this child I have prayed and the Lord has answered my prayer." Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings...but especially for my children.