There's a story in the bible about a woman named Hannah who wanted a child more than anything in the world. For years Hannah prayed and asked the Lord to grant her her hearts desire and, finally, in His perfect time, the Lord answered her prayer. While she waited, I'm sure Hannah tried her best to live happily with the husband she had and to live content with the life she was living. But there still remained a longing in Hannah's heart to nuture, to mold, to teach, to hold, to love a child. Like many women, as a young girl, Hannah must have dreamed about the child she would someday hold in her arms. I can imagine her closing her eyes wondering what it would be like to hear her baby's laughter as she kissed his cheek, to smell the fragrance of her newborn's skin, to feel her babe burrowing into her chest, feeling a tiny hand grab tightly onto her finger. To hear the words "Mama" sing across beautiful, little baby lips and the cry that could only be comforted by her would be her dream come true. As she walked through the market, she would watch the little ones dancing through the street, excited for the yummy treats their mommies were getting for them to eat. While going to fetch water from the well, she'd be the first one to offer help to a struggling mommy. She'd jumped at any chance she could get to hold any little one in her arms. Everywhere she went, it was the children Hannah noticed most. With each passing year, the yearning inside Hannah's heart grew stronger and stronger. While she tried her best to be happy, some days would be too much to handle. Tears would flow from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to keep them back. Her husband would ask, "Aren't I enough, Hannah?" She wanted to scream YES! but inside she would say "I wish you were." She loved her husband and she loved the Lord, and I'm sure she did her very best to be thankful. But deep inside, she was empty, undone, unfullfilled.
I was like Hannah. For years I wanted to have a child of my own. I gave every ounce of energy I had to my neices and nephews, my friends' kids, even the kids in my neighborhood. But my heart would break into pieces when one would fall or hurt himself, or get scared, and only his mommy could quiet the tears. I wanted to have a child that only I could comfort. I wanted to be the one a child would run to when he was scared. I had so much love to give and I was more than ready to do the work. Finally, after 12 years of trying, crying, waiting, frustration, anger...the Lord answered my prayers. Angel. Alliah. Grace. These three have created My Blessed Life. The love that has been created within mine and Larry's hearts is undescribable. These three kids have filled out mouths with laughter and have put unwritten melodies in our hearts. There's nothing sweeter than hearing "Maaaawwwwwmmmmm" being screamed down the stairs. There's nothing greater than seeing a proud smile on a face that just brought home an A+ on a test. There's nothing more precious than looking in on my sweet babies as they sleep, all tucked-in in their beds. I have waited for this all my life.
This Thanksgiving Season I have chosen to slow down, take a break-and a breather-from all the hustle and bustle the Season brings to thank God for listening. My children are what I am most thankful for. I am so thankful to God for holding onto me when I was questioning Him and blaming Him while we waited. He was full of undertanding when I was so angry with Him. He knew all along that there were three shining stars out there that He had created just for me. He knew my babies while in their mother's wombs (their birthmother's wombs) and He was with them when they took their first breaths. His angel's danced over them with singing the day they were born. He cared for them and watched over them until they found their way to my heart. Now, He has entrusted their little lives to us. I pray that God will continue to equip me and Larry to raise up children who will love God with all their hearts, love people and be filled with compassion for the world around them. As in the words of Hannah, "For this child I have prayed and the Lord has answered my prayer." Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings...but especially for my children.
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