It's A New Day

As I sit here in my office chair during the overtime hours, my heart and mind are filled with nothing but complete gratefulness. When I stop to think how undeserving I am of all of the many blessings God has granted me I can't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion and thanksgiving. God always seems to extend His hand of mercy and provision at just the right time. I'm discovering that I am much like the apostle Peter. I question the Lord quite a bit, still trusting Him, yet questioning Him all the more. He has invited me to walk on the water, always reminding me to keep my eyes on Him. But it doesn't take long for the cares of this life to threaten my stability and my focus on doing His will. When the bill pile is growing and bank accounts are low, when my babies get sick and pass it around to eachother like a hot potato, when the doctor doesn't have the greatest news for me or for someone I love or life just seems to be spinning uncontrollably around me? I look away from Him. I could kick myself everytime because isn't that when we should be looking to Him the most? As the waves are crashing all around and I think I'm about to sink, I see the hand of God sweep away the waves of worriness and anxiety and replace them with His calm and reassuring words saying, "Peace, be still." I've served Him my whole life, yet at times I find myself denying Him like Peter - even though I swore I never would. I don't deny knowing Him, but my doubt, fear, and unbelief make me just as guilty as Peter the three times he denied Christ on the cross. No, I don't deny knowing Jesus, but sometimes I do deny His power. Some days life seems so big and He gently reminds me that He is the Mountain Mover, the Life Giver, Father of all light, my Creator. He is all powerful and I am important to Him and loved by Him. He is holding me in the palm of His hand. He sees my circumstances, has a plan to help me get through them, calls me to keep my eyes on Him and still sings over me His sweet songs of mercy and forgiveness when I don't. What a great God! I don't know what God is doing inside my heart. But I do know that He is wanting a greater, stronger, healthier relationship with me. And I don't think it's because He's preparing me for some big plans He has for me to accomplish up the road or because He knows what attacks the enemy of my soul has planned for me....but He's filling my heart with a desire for more of Him just because He loves me. I know this blog entry is different - more personal, but I had to get these words out in appreciation for what He is doing in me. I am thankful.