Tis the season for my kids to start acting up. Why you ask? I have no idea. Maybe it's because with baseball and softball practices, Awanas, school, church, homework, meetings, etc...we're all tired. Angel and Alliah are darn good kids. Compared to some kids that I've seen in the grocery store or at the mall, mine are almost perfect angels. But, then some attitude creeps in, followed by a little laziness, a roll of the eyes or a big sigh when they're asked to do something. To be honest, lately my knee-jerk response is to yell at them or get frustrated and give them a little "growl" (which they don't like very much). I hadn't given MY attitude much thought because I feel like I've been running on fumes of exhaustion lately...UNTIL!! Since the weather has been so beautiful I had all the windows of the house open the other day. I was sitting on the couch giving Grace a snack when I heard a mini-me outside in the backyard. Alliah. She sounded EXACTLY like me...growl and all. She was frustrated with Angel because he wouldn't do what she said and she made a snide remark to him and GROWLED!! Yes, she growled. Is THAT what I sound like? That sounded so awful! So as Gracie chewed up her little rainbowed goldfish I started to think about how I can change my pattern of disciplining my little ones and remembered this awesome book I used to live by. The book is called, "Creative Correction" and let me tell you, it is a keeper. One example of how backwards I've become in disciplining my children is that when they make me mad *okay, I'm being truly honest here* I belt out with a pre-growl, "Go to your room!" Instead, I could say, "You know what Alliah? You're having having a hard time controlling your feelings right now. You're pretty angry. Why don't you come over here with me, hold on to my shirt and you stay here with me until you calm down and I tell you you can let go." I'm not telling my child that her behavior makes me so furious that I don't even want to SEE her but I'm saying that I love her and want her to be near me; I want to help her. I'm showing compassion and when Alliah sees others angry or frustrated I'm hoping she will show the same compassion towards them and be understanding and helpful. I can still go about my chores, but SHE has to make the effort to hang on, not me. SHE'LL have to think about why she has to stay with mom and maybe, just maybe, next time she'll be more kind, more considerate, more thoughtful towards others. Now for my son? I've said it here before, and I'll dare to say it again. The boy is lay-zee. Period. Angel likes to take the shortcut everytime. He does the minimum required, tries to find the easy way out, only do 'exactly' what is asked. If someone asked him to 'go the exta mile' he'd ask where the nearest bus stop was. According to the book, I should sit down with him and tell him that there are a few stories I'd like to share with him. Even though Angel is 10, he still likes to sit near mom and dad *preferrably in the middle* so I think Angel would like this one. So we'd sit down and I'd read him a story about a lazy man in the bible. There are plenty of stories to choose from and all of them end in a not-so-good way. Then I'd read him a story of someone who gave his all, went the extra mile *without a bus pass*, gave a little more than what was expected. And what happens then? God blesses that person and that person is trusted with more and is rewarded! One on one time with Angel would definitely do the trick. Miss Gracie is much to small to receive such discipline, but she sure knows what the word 'no' means. Whenever she doesn't want to do something she points her little finger up in the air and shakes it saying, 'no,no,no.' I will share that the other day she got so mad that I took the tv remote from her she laid herself gently on the ground, looked right at me eye to eye and kicked her feet against the ground. Then she just laid there....waiting to see my response. I stood there: staring eye to eyes, motionless for about 15 seconds. Then I gave her the biggest smile and said, "That's not pretty, Gracie." She clapped her hands together and started laughing as to say, "awe, I just thought I'd try it Mom." Too funny. Then she ran over to me and gave me a big hug and kiss. :o) So, to sum this post up, I'll be re-readig my book and I'll share some of the stories we venture through. They are sure to make your day!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Creative Correction
Tis the season for my kids to start acting up. Why you ask? I have no idea. Maybe it's because with baseball and softball practices, Awanas, school, church, homework, meetings, etc...we're all tired. Angel and Alliah are darn good kids. Compared to some kids that I've seen in the grocery store or at the mall, mine are almost perfect angels. But, then some attitude creeps in, followed by a little laziness, a roll of the eyes or a big sigh when they're asked to do something. To be honest, lately my knee-jerk response is to yell at them or get frustrated and give them a little "growl" (which they don't like very much). I hadn't given MY attitude much thought because I feel like I've been running on fumes of exhaustion lately...UNTIL!! Since the weather has been so beautiful I had all the windows of the house open the other day. I was sitting on the couch giving Grace a snack when I heard a mini-me outside in the backyard. Alliah. She sounded EXACTLY like me...growl and all. She was frustrated with Angel because he wouldn't do what she said and she made a snide remark to him and GROWLED!! Yes, she growled. Is THAT what I sound like? That sounded so awful! So as Gracie chewed up her little rainbowed goldfish I started to think about how I can change my pattern of disciplining my little ones and remembered this awesome book I used to live by. The book is called, "Creative Correction" and let me tell you, it is a keeper. One example of how backwards I've become in disciplining my children is that when they make me mad *okay, I'm being truly honest here* I belt out with a pre-growl, "Go to your room!" Instead, I could say, "You know what Alliah? You're having having a hard time controlling your feelings right now. You're pretty angry. Why don't you come over here with me, hold on to my shirt and you stay here with me until you calm down and I tell you you can let go." I'm not telling my child that her behavior makes me so furious that I don't even want to SEE her but I'm saying that I love her and want her to be near me; I want to help her. I'm showing compassion and when Alliah sees others angry or frustrated I'm hoping she will show the same compassion towards them and be understanding and helpful. I can still go about my chores, but SHE has to make the effort to hang on, not me. SHE'LL have to think about why she has to stay with mom and maybe, just maybe, next time she'll be more kind, more considerate, more thoughtful towards others. Now for my son? I've said it here before, and I'll dare to say it again. The boy is lay-zee. Period. Angel likes to take the shortcut everytime. He does the minimum required, tries to find the easy way out, only do 'exactly' what is asked. If someone asked him to 'go the exta mile' he'd ask where the nearest bus stop was. According to the book, I should sit down with him and tell him that there are a few stories I'd like to share with him. Even though Angel is 10, he still likes to sit near mom and dad *preferrably in the middle* so I think Angel would like this one. So we'd sit down and I'd read him a story about a lazy man in the bible. There are plenty of stories to choose from and all of them end in a not-so-good way. Then I'd read him a story of someone who gave his all, went the extra mile *without a bus pass*, gave a little more than what was expected. And what happens then? God blesses that person and that person is trusted with more and is rewarded! One on one time with Angel would definitely do the trick. Miss Gracie is much to small to receive such discipline, but she sure knows what the word 'no' means. Whenever she doesn't want to do something she points her little finger up in the air and shakes it saying, 'no,no,no.' I will share that the other day she got so mad that I took the tv remote from her she laid herself gently on the ground, looked right at me eye to eye and kicked her feet against the ground. Then she just laid there....waiting to see my response. I stood there: staring eye to eyes, motionless for about 15 seconds. Then I gave her the biggest smile and said, "That's not pretty, Gracie." She clapped her hands together and started laughing as to say, "awe, I just thought I'd try it Mom." Too funny. Then she ran over to me and gave me a big hug and kiss. :o) So, to sum this post up, I'll be re-readig my book and I'll share some of the stories we venture through. They are sure to make your day!
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