Love & Logic

So I'm taking a parenting class on Tuesday nights called, "Parenting Your Kids With Love & Logic." The premise of the class is raising kids that think. They think about their actions, and the rewards or consequences that will follow. It's about learning to give your children choices. Choices that I, as the parent, can live with. "Do you want to wear your red coat, or your blue coat?" The point is the child WILL wear a coat, but they get to choose which one. As for elementary kids, "Do you want to do homework before you get your snack or after?" The kids WILL do homework, but they get to chose when. As teens? Do you think you can be home by 9pm or is 9:30 better for you? The point? The teen will be in the door before 10pm. It's a really interesting class that gives parenting techniques that not only save lots of arguing and frustration, but it also keeps the responsibility on the child. If the parent has a problem with the kids' actions, it soon needs to become the child's problem. It encourages parents to take care of themselves and limit confrontations, yelling and repeating yourself over and over and over. I have used these techniques with my kids for the last four weeks that I've been in class. Here's how it went down:

Angel: Angel has had his Playstation in the car for the last week and a half. I'd asked him to take it out and put it away more than three times. Finally, I said, "If you want to keep your playstation, it needs to be out of the car before bedtime tonight. If you leave it in the car overnight again, you're telling me you don't want it and I can sell it, okay?" He agreed. Unfortunately, my 11 year old son left it in the car overnight, again. I was so sad that he had done that. I picked up the playstation and put it away. He's not asked for it, he hasn't mentioned it, nothing. My poor son is living with the consequences of his actions. He can't yell at me or accuse me of taking it away, because I gave him a choice, and he chose. Now he's playstation-less because of his choice. My response? "How sad, son. I'm sorry you don't have it anymore. I know that must feel really bad." I hugged him and that was it.

Alliah: We were shopping at Target for some church dresses. She's growing like a weed so all her dresses were becoming way too short. There were a few we found on sale so she tried four dresses on. Every one of them looked amazing on her. We put them all in the basket. As we walked down the aisles looking at shampoo, soaps, etc., she remembered she wanted a new journal. I put my newly acquired skills into action. "Well, Alliah, you've chosen four dresses. All of them look really good on you, but you want a new journal also?" She responded with an emphatic YES! I offered a switch. I told her that she could exchange one dress for a journal (they cost just about the same...great sale!) She hesitated. Had I just said, "no", she would have hung her face throughout the store, thus making me mad and putting all the dresses back and her leaving with nothing. Instead, I left it up to her. She stood there in front of the cart, staring at the dresses for about 30 seconds. She chose to put one dress back and pick a new journal. She was as happy as a kite and we had a wonderful time browsing through the aisles of Target together. I didn't chose for her, but I gave her options I was willing to live with. She left with three dresses, a journal, and a thankful attitude. I left with peace of mind.

Grace: Gracie loves TV...she is a TV baby! "Cartoons" is one of her favorite words - and now 'Calliou' is a new favorite word. She LOVES that cartoon and even sings the theme song at the top of her lungs and dances in circles every time it comes on. Calliou was on and after about an hour of watching tv already I wanted the tv off. I sat down on the floor next to Gracie, sang the song along with her then said, "Do you want to watch a little bit (showing her a "little bit" with my fingers) of Calliou or do you want a looooong time (showing her "a long time" by stretching out my arms) of sitting with mamma and reading a book?" I held up one of her favorite books. Now Grace is just 20 months old so I didn't know if she'd understand. She put her pointer finger on her chin, looked up to the ceiling and said, "uhhhhh....BOOK!" She got it! I didn't have to turn the tv "No more," followed by Grace screaming and throwing herself on the floor. She walked over to the tv, turned it off, walked to the couch where we sit to read books, saying "up...book." We sat and read a book, she had snack and went down for a three hour nap afterwards. In just three minutes of offering a choice, I gave myself three hours of quiet.

I am amazed. Not only does this work with children, but with adults, too. I've tried it on Larry (those details I won't share LOL) and even we ended a conversation on a happy note, in what could have been an otherwise compromising conversation. I'm learning everyone needs to feel they control something within their own life. With each choice, they learn to live with the rewards of their choices or the consequences of them. There's no blaming because it was their choice! It sounds so simple, but it's not always simple to do. It takes some practice. I've blown it more than once, but I keep trying! :)

Happy October?

I can't believe it's almost the end of October already. Time is flying by faster than it normally does. This can be attributed to the fact that we have been one busy family. We've been working at the church quite a bit. It's the end of the year so there' lots going on. Also, I've started working 4 days a week now instead of three and longer hours. My old work schedule was Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday from 8 to 3 a.k.a "Spoiled Hours." Now I work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday from 8 to 4 a.k.a. "Normal Hours." Some friends of mine work M-F 8-5 and sometimes 6 at night! Hats off to them, really. I don't think I could handle that with work, three kids, one Tuesday night class, church work, housecleaning, grocery buying, and I can't leave out reading a book here and there to my kids! How do they do it?! Whenever people ask me to do something it's usually followed by a, "IF you have any time" or "in your SPARE time" said sarcastically. When I hear people say that it makes to stop and think, "dang, I AM really busy. No wonder I'm dead tired all the time!" I think partly to blame is that I've started staying up late again. And I've been drinking too much diet pepsi again. I was in such a good habit of going to bed at 9pm and waking up between 5-6am...taking my time in the morning, loving it! Now? I'm tired, stressed out, frustrated with some things going on in life that are beyond my own control, and feel irritated that things that I saw some progress in seem to be regressing. All the while, I try to keep a happy face and a sweet disposition with my kids and husband but inside just about to crumble. Now, I know I'm just being plain honest here today. I think I've turned this blog session into a "Kristie Needs To Vent" session. Sorry about that. Anywho....now you know how to pray for me!! LOL I need strength, some encouragement, some laughter, something! *sigh* What's a girl to do...

Daddy's Girls

Total Knock Out

Grace. What more can I say about this adorable little bug that I call all mine? It amazes me how much she already wants to be like her big sister. Alliah is into putting curlers in her hair at night. Grace sits on the bathroom floor as Alliah lovingly stares at herself, rolling each pink curler around her long, black locks of hair. A few nights ago, Alliah put three curlers in Gracie's hair. Since that night, Grace wants curlers in her hair every night, too. She only puts up with them until bedtime and then they bother her and she yanks them out. I quickly grabbed my phone to click these pics because Gracie just looked too cute for words.


I don't know if you can see the words on her robe pocket, but it says "TOTAL KNOCKOUT." I took this pic just before we left to pick up Angel and Alliah from Awanas. This second pic is from when we got home. Car rides always knock Grace out. Here you can definitely see she was "knocked out." And she was out all night - 11 hours of sleep! Hallelujah! This mommy finally got a good, full nights rest too. But isn't she just adorable???

Labor Day Weekend

Some ventured out into the wild blue yonder: sleeping in tents, counting the stars, fishing in the lake, gathering around the campfire at dusk. Others enjoyed a delicious barbecued steak and corn on the cob fresh off the grill with friends and family. Others went out to eat a yummy meal and caught a matinee at the movies, with popcorn and soda and jujubees. Me? I stayed home. In my pajamas. All day. I watched about a zillions shows on the Food Network and then did some baking (of course!) Don't get me wrong, it was a great weekend! I did exactly what I wanted to do: NOTHING. My sister Liz and her family are staying with us for a few weeks while their new house is getting ready so we always have fun when we're together. We could just sit on the couch, eating ice cream, and talk and it would be fun. We always end up laughing about something - even though we both could cry too. This Labor Day weekend didn't fly by, nor did it lag. It just was. And it was exactly what I needed!

The What If's

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't have to wonder "Is that chocolate or is that poop?"

If I had never became a mother...
I would never have to use the bathroom or shower with the door open

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't step on legos with every step, causing me to scream out in pain

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't have gained this spare tire that I carry around the space where my tummy used to be.

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't have to buy Handi Snacks and Goldfish crackers by the pound.

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't have had the pleasure of pulling the back on someones pants open to see if they pooped.

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't have to buy an entire new wardrobe for them while I, myself, make do with one good pair of jeans and one cardigan.

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't have sat up until the wee hours of the morning lulling a crying baby to sleep when all I wanted to do was cry myself.

If I had never became a mother...
I would never have eaten so many cold meals in my life.

***************

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't get to see young minds grow and discover the beauty of the earth

If I had never became a mother...
I wouldn't have three sweet little warm bodies who find no greater joy than crawling into bed with their Mama for a good morning snuggle.

If I had never became a mother...
I would never know how proud I could feel when someone does something that seems so small.

If I had never became a mother...
I never would have had another beating heart lay so close to my very own, literally.

The 1st of the Month

Happy September! That's it for today.

Alliah Turns Nine!

My Alliah is now NINE years old! Where did the time go? Yesterday (Sunday) we invited our family over for lunch to celebrate the life of this special little girl. As Alliah was trapsing all over the house, grinning from ear to ear with excitement, I couldn't help but feel overwhelming thankfulness to God for this little one. I know that God has big plans for my girl and I am so thankful that Alliah has the desire to find out what they are. We started the morning off at church. Since it was Alliah's birthday I invited her to sing with me and the worship team. She was elated! She usually sits on the front row and sings as loud as she can. But for her birthday, she stood on that stage with the other singers and sang her little heart out. With a mic! It was so cute when she'd come in too early or hold the note longer than she should have. She'd be up there singing every Sunday if she could. After church, and all the hugs and gifts from people at church, we headed home to prepare for the family coming to visit. Alliah was so helpful and wanted to make sure everything was just right. We decorated the house with a butterfly theme in purples and pinks. Balloons and gifts filled the living room. We had shredded beef tacos with my homemade pico de gallo salsa, Tia Liz made mexican rice, and Tia Nicole made a macaroni salad. Larry also made his infamous guacamole...it was all sooo delcious.

As we all gathered around the table to sing "Happy Birthday" and blow candles, my heart skipped a beat when I looked at Alliah and saw the beautiful young lady she suddenly became. Yes, she's only nine, but when I think of that little toddler that came and stole our hearts at just three years old, tears began to well up in my eyes. Not seeing anymore baby features made me want to cry. But then when I thought of the gifts she asked for? Alliah didn't want Barbies or Polly Pocket. She wanted nail polish, CDs, skinny jeans! I think Tia Nicole's gift hit the top ten list Alliah had in her head: hoop earrings! My little girl is growing up. And fast. Her daddy just about hit the roof when the neighborhood boys came knocking on the door asking if they could come in and wish Alliah a happy birthday (makes me laugh just typing this LOL). Larry quickly answered with a "NO, and go home!" Really, he did. We have got one beautiful girl on our hands...and boys are starting to notice! I feel sorry for them because they got Larry to deal with. Thankfully, I don't have to worry one bit in that department. Larry has got it covered! Even if she is THINKING about noticing boys? Larry will scare every one of them away with just a look. It's already happening!!

Alliah is a true servant. A caring, compassionate, wonderful girl who does her best in everything she does. I don't know what lies ahead for her, but I will do my best to teach her, tell her, exemplify to her what it means to serve the Lord whole-heartedly and walk in His ways. Thank you Lord for my Alliah. May we do all you instruct us to do so she will walk in the paths You have ordained for her to follow. Happy Birthday Alliah!

Baby Bell

This is a pic of the Beauty and the Beast Bell Cake I custom made for my neice Isabella's 2nd Birthday!

August 30th is my neice Isabella's 2nd Birthday. Bella is a total love! Her and I can sit and sing for days! Literrally. The girl LOVES to sing and loves music, just like me :) This weekend was her Princess Party and what a great time we had! I made this Beauty and the Beast Bell Birthday cake just for her. Fermin and Crystal's mouths just about dropped to the floor when they saw it. Made me sooo happy! I made a mock cake a couple of days before, but this one came out so much better than the first. I am very pleased!


Here's the back....I was so happy with the way the piping and the roses came out. Anyting for my Bell, Bell. Happy Birthday Sweetness!

Baby Tattoos

Grace has discovered that she can pull the dining room chairs out from under the table and climb up them to grab any and all object we have intentionally tried to keep out of her reach. That includes pens. I don't know what we were all doing, but obviously, we were not watching Grace. Next thing we know, we glance over at the table & Gracie is looking down, concentrating on her project.


She was giving herself a tattoo with a blue ink pen. Larry and I just started laughing, asking her what she was doing. She gave us this mischevious smiled and raised her arm showing us what she thought was her beautiful artwork, all up and down her arm. To top that off, there was perfectly clean sheets of white paper right in front of her! But she chose to draw on her arm instead. Yes, she was so proud of what she had accomplished.